Get in the Van

Music: Felix Clement
Lyrics: Felix Clement

Are you ready for another one boys and girls!

Roll up!

Get in the van

I’ve been waiting for a bleedin’ lifetime

In the carpark

Of Morrisons, it’s almost getting dark

Finish your fag,

And get in the bloody motor, you slag

Wish I was a bus

So I could leave you stranded on your arse

I ain’t some

Mug who’s got the time to waste

Looking at your stupid face

As you wonder to yourself

Should I get a sausage roll?

or should I get something that’s better for me health?

Get in the Van

Get in the Vaaa aaan

Get in the Van

Get in the van

What part of ‘get in the van’ don’t you understand

Get with the plan

Before I make you taste the back of me hand

Eat your egg roll,

And put that Ginsters in your pie hole

The points been raised,

That we’re not going to make it to Portslade

And when we

Finally hit the road

You’ll be needing to go

For a piss every half hour

Or say ‘hey look there’s a castle,

why don’t we stop for a gander’

Get in the Van

Get in the Vaaa aaa

Get in the Van

The year is 2094

And all the record labels are dead

Nobody buys CDs anymore (HAHAHAHA)

And bands roam the earth playing for exposure (FOOLS!)

And they have to do everything

The gig booking

The tour management

The social media

The merchandise

And the driving

Sooooo

Get in the bitch seat

Get in the van

Get in the bloody roller

I’ve lost count of how many times I told ya

You’re in your thirties but I think Gandalf moves faster

If you want to be in a band you’ve got to be a bloody soldier

One more time

All together now

One, two, three

Get in the Van

Get in the Vaaa aaa

Get in the Van

Hey! Huplah!